| When you compose your gift list this | | | | own need for touching. George hugs and |
| year stop and consider that what kids | | | | cuddles more to show Lily how very very |
| really want is love--your love. Sure, | | | | much he loves her. She feels still |
| they will ask for electronics, games., | | | | deeper hurt, not hearing the words and |
| books, clothes--all the usual stuff from | | | | not caring about the touching. As |
| the store. However, kids, like adults, | | | | parents, you want your kids to have the |
| deep down want to know, beyond a shadow | | | | best of everything. Your love, coming in |
| of a doubt, that you love them, cherish | | | | the form that spells out "I love you" in |
| them--just exactly the way they are and, | | | | your little person's terms is giving |
| maybe even more importantly, the way | | | | them the best life has to offer. Now how |
| they aren't. I am not talking about | | | | do you create a gift of love? With the |
| unconditional love. There is no | | | | knowledge of what love is for your young |
| distinction between love and | | | | person, find as many ways as you can to |
| unconditional love. Either you love | | | | express that love. One popular activity |
| someone no matter what they do in life | | | | in my home when my kids were young--that |
| or you don't. Period (Everyone | | | | extended into their teen years--was |
| occasionally makes mistakes or does | | | | going on dates. Mom would have a date |
| something that disappoints or hurts your | | | | with each child and Dad would have a |
| feelings knowingly or, more commonly, | | | | date with each child. Or maybe make it a |
| without knowing.) If your youngster | | | | monthly deal--something to look forward |
| needs to behave a certain a way or not | | | | to. A date is interactive time together |
| behave a certain way to feel loved you | | | | doing something you both enjoy. Note, |
| are placing conditions on your so-called | | | | watching a movie is not a date; it is |
| love. Think about loving your child | | | | two people watching actors do what they |
| sometimes and not loving him at other | | | | enjoy. Engage in some activity that |
| times. Thinking about it? Well, you | | | | allows you to talk and connect. Do you |
| really can't, can you? What a ludicrous | | | | know that most kids have no clue that |
| concept! Can't even get your head around | | | | you have a life apart from being their |
| it, right? Either you love your child or | | | | parent? Even into the teen years, most |
| you do not love your child. Please | | | | kids think you are all about being there |
| realize that your child is a person who | | | | for them. Well, of course you are about |
| exhibits behaviors. Your young person | | | | being there for them and you have your |
| may do things or not do things to your | | | | own feelings, thoughts, and interests. |
| liking. And you always love your kid. | | | | If you do not enjoy what you do with |
| You may not like the behaviors. You may | | | | your child--trust me, your child will |
| completely disapprove of or ban those | | | | know it. Both of you will feel |
| behaviors from the house and you still | | | | miserable. Kids grow up so fast. In the |
| love that young person--the real person | | | | blink of an eye they are out the door. |
| inside. Something else about love--every | | | | Savor every minute you can get with your |
| person has his own unique definition of | | | | child and know what an honor and |
| love. Some people only feel love when | | | | privilege it is to be a parent. Enjoy |
| they the hear words, "I love you." | | | | your children. Make your holidays great! |
| Others want hugs. Some want gifts. The | | | | Ali Bierman is the proud mother of two |
| list of ways to show love goes on | | | | great adults.While raising her kids she |
| forever. Want to know the biggest most | | | | also enjoyed working in the schools as a |
| thoughtful gift you can give your kid? | | | | volunteer and teacher, on the soccer |
| Ask him what he needs from you to know, | | | | fields as a coach, and in crisis care as |
| absolutely and positively, that you love | | | | a psychotherapist. She brings her love |
| him. No guessing allowed. So very many | | | | and experience to parents sharing how to |
| people walk around thinking no one loves | | | | raise kids who can be, do and have |
| them. How can that happen? For George, | | | | anything they want by listening to your |
| love means hugging and cuddling. Lily | | | | heart and following your gut. In |
| knows love when she hears the spoken | | | | addition to speaking and mentoring, Ali |
| words, "I love you." George hugs and | | | | Bierman's parenting books include the |
| cuddles with Lily thinking she knows he | | | | popular ebook, Parents, Are You Making |
| loves her so very much. She feels hurt | | | | These 17MIstakes With Your Child? |
| and thinks George is just meeting his | | | | |