| It's likely that all of us have this bad | | | | reality. It isn't very productive, as you may |
| habit to some extent, and I nominate it for | | | | notice in friends who find many things and |
| the title of the worst habit one can have. | | | | people to blame in their lives.Breaking A Bad |
| What is it? Fighting reality rather than | | | | HabitBlame the person who chooses to be cruel |
| accepting and dealing with things the way | | | | to you, but you are also to blame if you |
| they are. Here are some examples, and a few | | | | choose to be abused repeatedly by spending |
| suggestions as to how to break this habit.Are | | | | time with this person. It's a bit like |
| You Fighting Reality?Fighting reality is a | | | | sticking your hand in a fire repeatedly, |
| subtle habit, expressing itself in everything | | | | hoping it will one day stop being hot. |
| from blaming others for our problems to | | | | Almost, I say, because a person CAN change. |
| getting angry at traffic, to wishful | | | | However, how often do they? Be realistic |
| thinking. How do know when you are doing it? | | | | here, or you are fighting reality as surely |
| Watch for these clues.Consider how rarely you | | | | as when you put your hand into a fire.A |
| complain, or are angry or annoyed because | | | | person can wait for his "ship to come in," or |
| rocks are hard and water is wet. Your easy | | | | can face the fact that people create most of |
| acceptance of the facts of nature is due to | | | | the "luck" they have in life, and start |
| clearly seeing this is simply the way it is. | | | | working toward his goals. I can work for |
| You have no ideas that rocks should be soft | | | | political change or just complain and wish |
| or water dry. In other areas of life, | | | | things were different. You can watch people |
| however, you probably do have ideas about how | | | | succeed, while talking about the "reasons" |
| things "should be." This is the first clue | | | | for your failures, or you can see what they |
| that you may be "fighting reality."Of course | | | | are doing to succeed and try that.Sometimes |
| you can work to make the world a better | | | | we don't want to see the truth. To really |
| place, but you don't need to deny or fight | | | | want to see it we may need to look at the |
| reality to do that. I once failed in business | | | | futility of fighting reality. Who is more |
| because I felt that there "shouldn't be" | | | | likely to find happiness in this world, a man |
| regulations and complicated tax systems. I | | | | who demands it should be the way he wants it, |
| used these ideas as excuses for not doing all | | | | or one who accepts things as they are, |
| that I had to do to succeed. Entrepreneurs | | | | changes what he can, and does what he needs |
| may agree with that laissez-faire viewpoint, | | | | to do? Who will more likely succeed, a man |
| but successful ones also accept that things | | | | who knows all about how things "should be," |
| are how they are, and deal with it.A great | | | | or one who sees only what is there and deals |
| way to excuse ourselves from taking | | | | with it?Do you need motivation to change? |
| responsibility, and one of the subtle ways of | | | | Start watch complainers and blamers and those |
| fighting reality, is to blame. Seeing the | | | | who say "should" and "shouldn't" too often. |
| role that outside factors and other people | | | | Watch closely, and you'll see how they suffer |
| play in our problems is honesty, but focusing | | | | for their demands on reality. This is a bad |
| more on assigning blame than on how to deal | | | | habit upon which many other bad habits are |
| with the problems is just a bad habit. It's | | | | based, but it can be broken.Steve Gillman has |
| like a child screaming "I don't want it this | | | | been studying brainpower and related topics |
| way!" thinking that complaints will change | | | | for years. |