Key to Success: How to Understand Four Communication Styles

y to success is learning how to understand four thePassive communication is based on compliance and
different communication styles. The main reason forhopes to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode
conflicts with our family, friends, colleagues, and ourwe don't talk much, question even less, and actually do
team members in a home-based business is a "lack ofvery little. We just don't want to rock the boat. People
communication". Effective communication skills arethat use passive communication styles have learned
essential in our lives and in the home-business industry.that it is safer not to react. They lack so much
More often than not, the problem is a result of aconfidence in themselves that it feels better to
communication breakdown and it is as though eachdisappear rather than to stand up, be noticed, and
individual is actually speaking their own "uniquehave a voice.
language".Passive-Aggressive Communication
In this digitally inter-connected world, you'd think weA combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids
could "fix" such basic differences. Unfortunately, it's notdirect confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even
as easy as plugging another device into the system.through manipulation (aggressive). If you've ever
Maybe they're the problem or maybe you are. We allthought about making that certain someone who
know difficult people - and, in fact, we can all be theneeds to be "taught a thing or two" suffer (even just a
difficult person.teeny bit), you've stepped pretty close to (if not on
A little background on communication styles, as a keyinto) the devious and sneaky world of the
to success, can help us understand the issues andpassive-aggressive. People that use this
learn how to alter our approach and eventually makecommunication style operate out of fear and clearly do
life a little easier for both parties.not have the courage to stand up and say what they
Learning how to communicate effectively is a key toneed to say. Therefore, they use the cowardly form
success and will help us reach financial success. Everyof passive-aggressive communication. They are the
time we speak, we choose and use one of four basicones that will smile to your face and then "stab you in
communication styles. It is important to learn that onlythe back".
one of them is effective and is the only one as theSo, now what?
key to success.Clearly, for many reasons, the only "HEALTHY
1. AssertiveEFFECTIVE" communication style is assertive
2. Aggressivecommunication. It is the only form of communication
3. Passivethat is clearly a "key to success" and an effective
4. Passive-aggressive.communication skill. Surely you can identify many
Assertive Communicationpeople in your own life that favor each of the four
The assertive communication style is the moststyles. Most of us use a combination of these four
effective and the healthiest form of communication. It'sstyles depending on the person or situation. The styles
how we naturally express ourselves when ourwe choose generally depend on what our past
self-esteem is intact; giving us the confidence toexperiences have taught us will work best to get our
communicate without games or manipulation.needs met in each specific situation. If you take a really
When we are being assertive, we work hard togood look at yourself you've probably used each style
create mutually satisfying solutions and wethroughout your lifetime in different situations with
communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. Wecertain people.
care about the relationship and strive for a "win/win"Understanding the four basic types of communication
situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushedwill help you learn how to RESPOND most effectively
beyond them just because someone else wants orwhen confronted with a difficult person. It is very
needs something from us.important that you always use "SELF-CONTROL" and
Assertive communication is the ability to expressdo NOT "REACT"! This is a skill learned through
positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open,personal development. When we "react" to someone
honest, and direct way. It recognizes our rights whilewe have just given our power away! It will also help
still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to takeyou to recognize when you are using manipulative
responsibility for ourselves and our actions withoutbehavior to get your own needs met.
judging or blaming other people. It is a key to successRemember, you always have a choice as to which
and it allows us to constructively confront and find acommunication style you use. If you're serious about
mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.taking control of your life it is best to practice being
Surprisingly, this assertive is the style most people usemore assertive. It will help you diffuse anger, reduce
LEAST! Isn’t this amazing?guilt, and build relationships - both personally and
Aggressive Communicationprofessionally. This is a "key to success" and a
Aggressive communication always involvesprinciple that requires a high degree of self-confidence
manipulation. We may attempt to make people doand discipline.
what we want by inducing guilt, hurt, by usingAction Steps:
intimidation, and control tactics (such as anger). Covert1. To communicate effectively begin to pay attention to
or overt, we simply want our needs met--right now!which communication styles you use throughout the
Although there are a few arenas where aggressiveday. How often do you use a communication style
behavior is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will neverother than "ASSERTIVE"?
work in a relationship. Ironically, the more aggressive2. Watch and identify the communication styles some
sports rely heavily on team members and rationalof the difficult people in your life use. Can you begin to
coaching strategies. Even war might be avoided if wenotice how others use manipulative techniques to get
could learn to be more assertive and negotiate totheir way? Learning communication effectively will
solve our problems.increase your success in all of your relationships and it
Passive Communicationis the only one that is a "key to success".