How to Gain Confidence - Change your beliefs and you change your confidence

our confidence is totally affected by your beliefs. Themight have been worse than your friend at maths, but
first step to changing your beliefs is to understand howyour friend might have happened to be a genius. In
these beliefs affect your confidence.which case your conclusion is possibly wrong. Or you
It might seem obvious, but you are having experiencesmight be better than your friend at maths, but only
from the moment you are born. What is less obviousbecause they are absolutely awful at it. Again, you
(perhaps) is that each of these experiences, no matterhave drawn an incorrect conclusion.
how small is having an effect on our internal picture ofImagine, years later, still believing that you are either
the world. Some experiences boost our self-esteem.good or bad at maths, all because of that friend who
Others don’t.you sat next to in class!
Let’s take an example. Suppose that at school,And many of our beliefs are formed in similar ways.
you had a friend who was in the same maths class asThey often have a very tenuous link to reality. It all
you. If you were better than your friend at maths, youcomes down to interpretation.
might conclude that you were good at maths. If youAnd this explains why two individuals with the same
were worse than them, you might conclude that youlevel of ability can have two totally different views of
were terrible at maths. Once you have the inklings of athemselves. They have each chosen to interpret their
belief, you will look for evidence to back it up. If you gotreality in a different way.
50% in a test, and thought that you weren’tThis especially applies to your beliefs about confidence.
good at maths, then you might focus on the 50% youWhether you are confident in a particular area will
got wrong.have nothing to do with your actual abilities but more
But if we look closely at the example, we can see thatoften your interpretation of previous events in your life.
our beliefs are not really based on logic or commonIf you can change the interpretation, you can change
sense. They are very fragile and often flawed. Youyour confidence.